Sunday

It's a quiet Sunday afternoon at the end of a week that couldn't have had more fun packed in for our girl and yet . . .

The week had cousins from California, complete with a sleepover. Days with big brother. All four grandparents. Movies with mommy and daddy, including Frozen II. A calming massage, aminals with Linda, princesses visited, and hugs from Izzy's beloved Mrs. T. There was plenty of down time too and many mornings of sleeping in late and always to bed early.

But, I'm writing to you from my phone in the calm of Izzy's dark room. As I stare at the glowing moon and stars, my sweet girl asleep next to me, the pain overtaking her on what has been a weepy day, it all hits me: we are in this moment. It's been a great week. A gift, but I hate that weeks with Izzy sitting in place are our gifts now.

While it seems like the rest of the world was vacationing on mid-winter break, our house had all of one hour without people when we took Izzy to the doctor for a routine follow up. That was her first time out of the house in a couple weeks, when she saw another doctor. It makes me utterly sad to watch the world go by. Izzy wants to be part of it so bad. She says she misses people, but I think she really misses who she used to be and how more people used to be part of her life.

When I step away from my grief, I know we have it lucky. Izzy is here and she still tells us stories and gives us hugs. And I know that we are not the only people not traveling. I'm grateful for our blessings, but today, I'm so sad that my almost 12 year old and my 13 year old have to learn to live like this and have learned. This is not the life we planned. But then again, it never is.

I know this is not a real update, but this is what I have. Izzy is more tired these days. She stays in bed much of the time. She still loves holidays and parties and visits. She's had several best day evers over the last couple months.

Izzy is about to turn 12 on St. Patty's Day. If you're not friends with me I Facebook, you probably don't know Izzy's request for her birthday. She knows that she's too tired lately to host a ton of people and celebrate with a big party. But she also wants to connect with the people she loves across the globe. Izzy is hoping that everyone will wear an Izzy shirt on Izzy's birthday--March 17--and share their pictures or videos wearing the shirt on that date via social media or email.

Since most people wear green on Izzy's birthday and none of the prior shirts were green, we decided to make a new shirt in honor of this occasion. (Izzy wants you all to know that she is not responsible for the prior lack of green shirts.) We are not trying to make money off this "fundraiser". We are simply trying to make it easy for all of you to order shirts. Should we make a profit, Izzy will decide what to do with the money. We held a sale for Izzy's Best Day Ever shirts earlier this year. The shirts arrived this week, making other people realize they needed the best St. Patty's Day shirt ever, so I set up a second round of orders. We need to sell 22 more shirts for this round to print. Tuesday is the cut off. Pricing starts at $20 and you can have them shipped directly to you. Buy here: https://www.customink.com/fundraising/izzybirthday

Even if you don't buy a shirt, please send Izzy a message on her birthday to help keep her connected to the wide wide world that she misses so much.